poison...yoursef
Well, maybe I should post a bit more so that I can get that piece of crap off the main page…
So I’ve gotten over that stuff I was raving about in the post below. Honestly I’m done with relationships and the bad they bring. I love being free to do whatever the hell I want.
Hopefully going line dancing (eeew….i know, right?) on friday with the party people. Saturday is a lan party, followed by most likely more partying at Blu and other undisclosed locales.
Peace!
?See me ruin anothers life. See me get drubk and fuck tings up. Fuck me..This life does not scare me anymore.. HAHAHAHA all you mother fuckers livining as though nothing hsppenened. Pretend like you arent fuckrd up ytoo. Fuckk fashion , fuck a ala molde. Bring that old self to life. Rip that long tatttered cloth from your soul. . Pretend to be okay with tyourself abd yoyr in adequencies. Fuck you.
You think you have it bad ? Live like her, live like him live like me. Fuckj you.
So get in touch with youe self. Think about ur emoyions. if i van speak in this state, imahine what u vando….. let go..
I didnt know a writers life woukd be like this.AYou never realize how much your actions affect others untill you get semi-shiyfaced and ruin another”s life.
*This entry is subject to drunken analyzation.
Goodbye.
I tore up my thumb the weekend before last, so life will be left handed for the next three months.
It’s kind of frustrating to be left handed but in all reality it was my fault. A lot of things seem to be a result of my faults lately. I’ve been contemplating the act and commitment of quitting drinking after this last stunt I pulled. The sad thing is that I actually have to think about it. It used to be that I could just stop if I wanted to…but the more you do something, the harder it is to stop.
I have had huge amounts of “friend time” and that has helped to some great extent but despite my best efforts I can’t stop thinking about her. [ahh that’s the vicodin kicking in…] She’s in the back of my drugged mind every day now. Even while heavily intoxicated… I don’t know if it’s because she’s not obtainable or if I really do still love her. It sounds sad but it’s the truth.
She told me ” i see a future for us”. I said “I don’t”. Now my ever regretful mind tells me “Wait! I think there’s a future there too!”. To my fear, she is not a part of my future, at least for now. Maybe someday I will get to see her smile again, to feel her skin against mine and run my fingers through her smooth hair.I’m not concerned with her seeing someone else. Although i don’t know what my pathetic self would do if it ever heard “i’m in love” from those perfect lips of hers.
For now, I’ll sit here on this gusty front porch atop a rusty swinging bench, cigarette perched and puffed in my mouth.
Drugged and detached.
Rembrance of the old world digital…
I stumbled upon a pre web 2.0 page tonight. I usually one or two random domain names once a day. Today brought me right back to about a year and a half ago.
A mix of rum and simple html has awoken a dormant part of my digital life. Plans compile within my wet and swelling cerebrum. With a base of William Gibson and some ancient mp3’s I shall ressurrect old me.
This new revolution of simple installations and free webapps is a glut. There is no work anymore. No hard coding on my part-at least. I’ll bring it back.